Worry Versus the Cross (The Fruit of the Spirit is . . . Peace)
There is a six foot cross on the roof of the house across the street. Robert, the man who lives there, had an encounter with Jesus after suffering a major heart attack. When he was well enough, he built the cross, climbed up his ladder and attached it firmly to the roof and chimney. That was many years ago and that simple cross has become a daily presence in my life. Robert can't see the cross from inside his house but it's directly across from our upstairs bedroom window.
No matter the weather, the cross is the first thing I see when I open the drapes. Unfortunately, it's become such a fixture in my view I often don't notice it anymore.
Well, I noticed it this morning.
Finished with my toast and coffee, I headed upstairs to make the bed. As I climbed each step I realized I was pulling myself up by the railing. I felt old, sad and depressed. There was nothing specifically wrong with me but I felt the weight of my worries and fears pressing heavily on my heart and mind to the point it became an actual physical feeling. Not good!
At this point, you need to know I am a self-designated worrier and I'm good at it. I've been doing it for a long time. I pick up my own and other people's real or imagined problems and fears until I'm an anxious and overwhelmed mess. I know this is the opposite of trusting God but it's become a heavy habit that I can't, or more likely won't, let go of.
Until I had my own encounter with Jesus.
I lugged my load of worries through the bedroom door, the sun came up behind the cross and lit up the room. I caught my breath and felt Jesus speak directly to my over-wrought heart.
"Annie, this has to stop! Give your load of worries, fears and 'what-ifs' to Me. They are not yours to carry. Trust me, I've got it covered."
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6 (NAS)
I sat on the edge of the bed and cried. I looked at the sunlit cross and got the message. I began to smile. It was time to let go.